Sunday, December 27, 2015

Nittel Nacht Nativity Nuttiness


  1. One would think that the proper Jewish approach would be to act as if it's a totally normal day of the week.

  2. FYI, IIRC, those are spoofs, not genuine.

  3. A whopper was whelped by a carpenters wife,
    A fib with a 2000+ year shelf-life,
    She practiced to deceive,
    Over how she conceived,
    To sell her babe as the elixir of life,

    From the little Yoizels birthday,
    They made a commercialized holiday,
    With fat Santa giving toys,
    To good girls and boys,
    And it all starts with a Black Friday,

    But for Jews it’s just been a shvartz yohr,
    Country after country showed us the door,
    For we’d not celebrate,
    The birth of an apostate,
    Who fomented massacres and holy war,

    On a night when the evil is strong,
    Silence broken by carol and song,
    Drunken Xmas celebrants,
    Would turn us into emigrants,
    Pogroming us all nitel-night long,

    So we conscientiously object,
    To the party of the Nazarene’s sects,
    And instead we belittle,
    The night that is nitel,
    In no holly are our mezuzahed halls bedecked,

    We retreated with our next of kin,
    In hopes of saving our skin,
    from wannabe crusaders,
    and pre-Star Wars Darth Vaders,
    turned murderous by spiked eggnog and gin,

    We pack up shtreimel and fedora,
    And eschew normal study of Torah,
    Instead we play chess,
    Making moves with finesse,
    Thus mocking Avodah that is Zorah,

    “Why chess?” asks the son who is wise,
    “and 21 among some of our allies?”
    The point that we prove,
    Is the one with the wining last move,
    Will, at last, a false god demonize.

    by the Bard of Fundie

    1. Totally awesome. Is this new material or was it resurrected from your once popular blog?

  4. fresh as a chutzpahdika student


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